Tim: “I also have the feeling that men become explicit relatively quickly. I write with men and women. And men become explicit relatively quickly. And women, they are very cautious and I also have the feeling that as a man I always have to take the first step. “
Lydia: “I think I wrote less first. I am now even meeting someone. “
When we get to know someone via the Internet – writes Eva Illouz in her book “Why Love Hurts” – we exchange an enormous amount of text-based, disembodied information about one another. Romance and intimacy, however, are linked to physical and sensual closeness – and therefore increasingly difficult to achieve under these conditions.
According to the sociologist Kornelia Hahn, however, it is precisely communication at a distance that enables intimacy to arise.
“Romanticism lives very much from conversation, also from interpretation. One shows the other what one feels, with words or with other signs. Interpreting e-mails, text messages or sending photos in particular – this interpretation, which can lead to intimacy in the first place, can be played out even more for the individual couple through new media. “
Andreas: “I think a lot of people feel like that. … That you can talk about something like this online rather than verbally, one is inhibited or something. .. A woman .. she also sent me nude pictures, ..that was already hot. ..They just made it clear that you can really ask any question. I already let the pig out, somehow. How you might dare to do that when you are drunk. … But while we were writing it was already so that you thought: Wow, you have to continue that somehow. “
Andreas: “The first time you were totally flashed how it can actually be that things really work so well between us here. And the second time … it is often bored. .. Then you have to prove yourself whether you really have something to say to yourself. That is seldom the case. “
Anne: “Up until now it has always been like this: after the third or fourth meeting you found yourself smoking weed on the couch in front of the television. And then at some point had sex. So until now there wasn’t the top flight, as everyone always imagines, yes? “
Even when it is primarily about relationships: Sex is always talked about on online dating portals. We exchange fantasies much earlier and more explicitly than we would in a bar or a club.